5 Mental Habits That Make Your Anxiety Worse

5 Mental Habits That Make Your Anxiety Worse

September 19, 2020 by Suman @TheAwesomeSoul

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Unchecked anxiety can take its toll and suck the joy out of your life. 

As you go about your day, many bad mental habits can unknowingly trigger anxiety and make you feel more anxious and stressed out. It’s important for you to learn what these bad mental habits are that have the potential to intensify your anxiety, so you can prepare yourself with better choices to live the life you want.

Procrastinating- people who procrastinate often end up worrying about the important task that they avoided.

Most of the time procrastination can leave you with self-frustration and considering how important a task you dodged, it might also make you vulnerable to sudden anxiety attacks.

Procrastination can happen for many different reasons, ranging from a fear of not doing well (perfectionism) to a lack of interest in the task at all. Whatever the reason may be, it’s important to stop giving in to this bad habit. Chronic procrastination can become debilitating to self-esteem and can lead to poor quality of life.

Tips:

• Find out all works and responsibilities that you truly care about and are passionate enough to not fear putting in the required amount of effort.

• Identify why you care about them. Know your WHY behind everything you do.

• Break down large pieces of work into smaller chunks and identify how much time would you require to complete any work. Stick to your commitments and do not overburden yourself.

Negative Self-Talk

Self-talk is the act of narrating your conscious thoughts and unconscious beliefs about how you perceive every situation. Psychologists often refer to self-talk as our ‘inner voice’ and it guides us into taking action through the decisions we make in our everyday lives.

Research has suggested negative self-talk can damage confidence that can influence your decision making and behaviors, leaving with increased feelings of worry and anxiety.

Rewiring your brain to look at situations positively is the first step to conquering anxiety. Stop the habit of negative self-talk now and start seeing the world for what it really is.

Tips:

• Take up treatment options like CBT which can provide an ideal foundation to break the habit of negative self-talk.

• Focus on the reality and positive aspects of any situation.

• Try to think less and act more.

Overthinking

Thinking through things is a good habit that provides you with constructive clarity on how to act. It becomes overthinking when you keep thinking about it for too long and just cannot get it out of your head. We all have experienced events at least once in our life that might have made us overthink.

However, the real problem with overthinking is the unhealthy destructive thought process that we engage in often leading to irrational worry and anxiety. Overthinking usually stems from focusing on the negative aspects of any important event, which if done consistently might lead to the development of a negative and self-critical mindset.

Tips:

• Focus on the action part of any event more than the thinking part.

• Question what makes you overthink about any event and evaluate if it is a rational fear or not.

• Focus on looking at events and experiences from a positive lens.

• Learn to live in the present moment by practicing mindfulness techniques.

Complaining

Complaining is simply an act of expressing dissatisfaction in regards to a negative situation.

Researchers believe the act of complaining chronically can rewire the brain to instill habits of rumination and focusing on the negative aspects which have shown to aggravate symptoms of anxiety. 

Tips:

• Focus on things which are in your circle of control

• Learn to accept the cause of anything that is not within your control.

• If the cause of your dissatisfaction is within your control, learn to act, and solve the issue.

• Adopt a positive frame of mind towards the world and appreciate what’s around you.

Perfectionism

Perfectionism is a personality trait in many people which causes them to set high expectations for themselves and others, which are more often than not unrealistic in nature. 

Positive or healthy perfectionism is considered a good habit as it spurs you to deliver your best at every work. Positive perfectionism includes focusing more on progress, setting realistic goals, and learning from your mistakes.

However, when you set up standards beyond your reach, you might act from a negative perfectionistic attitude which can lead to being overly self-critical, acknowledging mistakes as failures, seeking approval from others, and ultimately labeling yourself as unworthy for anything less than perfect. Acting in negative perfectionism leads to immense distress, disharmony, uncertainty, fear of making mistakes, and anxiety regarding judgment from others.

Tips:

• Identify and set goals that are realistic in nature.

• Focus on incremental progress over the outcome.

• Set an achievable benchmark for progress and measure your effort against it.

• Lastly, excellence is a process that can be achieved only with patience. So practice patience.

Thriving in College with ADHD Accommodations and Strategies to Help Manage Your Disorder

Thriving in College with ADHD Accommodations and Strategies to Help Manage Your Disorder

Written by: Shannon Lee, www.affordablecollegeonline.org

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a long-term condition that results in trouble concentrating. It can be accompanied by hyperactivity and impulsive behavior. College is filled with new experiences in a student’s academic, personal and professional life. This can lead to amplified challenges for college students with ADHD.

The academic difficulties and new social pressures are hard enough to manage for the typical student who doesn’t have ADHD. Add ADHD to the mix, and it’s no wonder students with this condition may struggle to keep up with challenging coursework or avoid getting into trouble during social events. But with a little bit of help, self-awareness and a desire to learn, students with ADHD can grow and thrive in the college setting.

This guide will look at how college students with ADHD can accomplish as much as any other student by providing a variety of strategies and tips as well as detailing on-campus resources.

Living with ADHD on Campus

College is a tremendous investment in time, money and effort. And while the college years might hold additional challenges for those with ADHD, these students should by no means avoid the experience. Success is more likely to come to those who are well informed, so it's important to keep certain things in mind when choosing a school and starting the educational journey.

Choosing a School

"Colleges, relative to high schools, place a lot more responsibility on students to manage their course schedules, study on their own with fewer assignments or faculty oversight, and to take more initiative to build relationships with faculty and to seek help when needed," says Shirag Shemmassian, Ph.D., a college admissions expert. "Therefore, beyond the usual considerations for all students starting their college career (e.g., school prestige, location, financial aid, major offerings, culture, diversity), students with ADHD should make every effort to ensure that they will be able to thrive at their chosen institution with the proper accommodations and organizational skills."

One way aspiring students can ensure that they thrive at their chosen school is to identify their learning style. Students can do this with the help of a school counselor who may even be able to give them tips on how to study effectively. A student's learning style can also come into play in terms of class size and how the school year is divided. For example, students with ADHD may want to consider a school that offers small classes to both underclassmen and upperclassmen to benefit from more individualized attention. Semesters, as opposed to quarters, should also be considered when choosing a school as this can directly affect the intensity of the courses.

Shemmassian also suggests students look into how a school handles accommodations, stating it’s important for students to contact a school’s office for students with disabilities (OSD) to confirm they have the resources necessary for them to succeed.

"While colleges typically offer more robust accommodations than high schools, this may not be the same in every high school/college comparison, so do your research, preferably before you agree to attend a particular institution," he says.

Once on Campus

After arriving on campus, new students should keep the following pointers in mind:

• Be prepared to advocate. Students with ADHD are usually entitled to reasonable accommodations on campus. However, the burden is on the student to identify what these accommodations are, to request the accommodations and to provide the information necessary to substantiate the request.

• Have realistic expectations. Getting all As the first semester isn’t easy for anyone and participating in extracurricular activities can add to the load. Students may want to take it slow at first in order to keep their focus on completing their program.

• Stay positive. It’s important to remember that college success comes to those who put forth the effort, regardless of a student’s specific circumstances. Students with ADHD can certainly achieve their academic goals with right mindset.

Most of all, Shemmassian wants to remind students that "More so than being a 'student with ADHD,' you're an individual with the same opportunities and achievement potential as anyone else." By taking advantage of the available resources and accommodations, students with ADHD can rest assured that they are not alone on their academic journey.

Accommodations for Students with ADHD

A college or university that receives federal funding is required to provide accommodations to students with disabilities as long as those students meet certain guidelines in accordance with federal law. Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 and the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 prohibit the discrimination on the basis of a student’s disability. These laws also require colleges and universities to take steps to allow students with disabilities to have the same academic opportunities as their non-disabled peers. This is straightforward in theory, but a bit more complex in practice in two primary ways.

First, the student must have a disability that warrants a special accommodation. An official diagnosis of ADHD by itself may not always be enough for a school to be legally required to provide an accommodation. The student must show that the ADHD is severe enough to have a notable impact on their ability to learn.

Second, the student must provide sufficient evidence that the accommodation being requested is justified. What qualifies as sufficient evidence will depend on the school. For instance, proof that a student received accommodations in high school for his or her ADHD, such as with an IEP or Section 504, may not be enough. Students may also need to provide a doctor’s diagnosis, a doctor’s recommendation for necessary accommodations and complete a battery of assessments for the school.

"The accommodations available to students with ADHD depend on their specific needs, usually highlighted by the mental health or education professional who conducted their psychoeducational assessment," Shemmassian points out. "In addition, having an open and honest conversation with the OSD staff member will allow students with ADHD to receive the right support."

What is the right support? It might include the following:

• Reduced class load

• Higher priority for class registration

• Ability to record lectures with an audio recorder

• Assistance with taking notes in class with an assigned notetaker

• A private room in which to take tests

• Reading assistance

• Extra time to take tests

• Having any oral classroom instructions provided in written form

• Alternative testing formats

Suicide Surviors

This Is What Suicide Survivors Want You to Know

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If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, help is out there. Reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Suicide is a subject many are afraid to talk about or even acknowledge. But how do we not talk about one of the leading causes of death? Each year, suicides claim the lives of 44,000 people in the United States alone. It’s the third leading cause of death for children between ages 10 and 14, and the second leading cause of death for people between 15 and 34.

This is why we need to better understand it and do our very best to get people the help they need in their darkest moments. One way to do this? Talk about it. We asked people in our Mental Health Awareness community on Facebook who have attempted or otherwise been affected by suicide: What do you wish others knew about your experience?

Here are their responses:

“I want people to know that it feels like the best option when you feel like a burden to everyone you love. It’s not a selfish decision at all from that person’s view.”— Conrad K.

 “I wish people knew just how bad things were in my head when I was about to jump, or when I rammed pills down my neck. A lot of people call suicide a coward’s way out, but they don’t realize just how bad you are until they have lost someone close or they are in that position themselves.”— Hayley L.

“I’m a daily survivor, as the thoughts of harm are always there, but one thing that keeps me here is looking at my children (they’re all adults) and thinking of all that they would have to do if I was to die, or worse, if I was left in a vegetative state. I make the decision every day to carry on and take it just one step at a time.”— Tanya M.

“My brother committed suicide. It tore a hole in my mother’s heart that never healed. She went through years of blaming herself... you know, the old “if only he had reached out, I could have helped him.” Well, I read a lot, talked to mental health professionals, and I do understand, as much as I can, why he felt that was his only choice. He was not a coward. In fact, he did what he did to spare the people he loved. I don’t agree with his decision, but I get it. I miss him and wish we could have grown old together, but I am glad he is in a place where he doesn’t hurt anymore.”— Nancy R.

“All I wish others to know is, it is not the cowards’ way out, and no one will ever understand a person’s mind when it is attempted. How terrible it actually is to feel that way. You don’t think of your kids, or your family, you just want to leave this world.”— Dede J.

“I think that to stand or sit there and go against every single survival instinct in your body and act on those truly horrendous, awful, dark thoughts, whilst knowing the consequences of what you’re about to do to yourself, shows that it’s an illness and that it certainly is not a cry for attention. To go against your survival instincts and go ahead with any action to end your life, and to spare what you perceive is the burden you are putting on everyone else, actually takes a whole lot of courage. Of course, it’s probably to end your pain and suffering, too, but mostly from experience I’d say it’s driven by a skewed perception of protecting the people you love around you from this all-consuming disease.”— Serena B.

“I wish people knew I never intended to live through it. It wasn’t ‘just a cry for help.’ I still wish I had succeeded. I want people to know inside my head is a very sad place.”— Lindsay E.

“It is like a dark thing that hates you and tells you lies that you’re not worth it. But you are. The bigger the lie, the more you are worth it. (You may not feel it, but you are loved by someone.) For me, it was a quiet little voice that said: “Take that handful, it will be alright.” I prayed for help... Baptism and Christianity saved my life and I’ve never faced that dark thing again. I have my “blue days,” blessed with a natural companion animal. I take a minimum amount of an “anti-everything” — kind of goes with the diagnosis but hey, it’s minimal. Empowering yourself when it hurts to take that step every day — even just getting out of bed and watching TV all day — it’s a step.”— Tessa R.

“I needed the comfort of one specific person. Comfort from anyone in general is pointless and often it’s the unsaid that helps more than words people think they should say to make things better.”— Roxi P.

“Your life is precious. Even if you feel very ****ty right now, you will not feel like that forever. Don’t deny yourself the time and opportunity to get better.”— Jamie W.

“We sometimes forget that we hurt others in our lives. It causes so much pain, and anxiety, and fear for our families. We never know what guilt our loved ones are holding on to. It’s really not worth it to put family through that loss.”— Jess A.

“Life can and will get better. You’re not alone, there’s so many people going through very bad times and people who care about you. Sometimes it seems like a ‘bad life,’ but living is worth it. Seek help, find new hobbies, learn to live again, and enjoy little things, cause there’s only one opportunity and it is oh so sad to waste it ending this life. Please, don’t do it. I promise again, it will get better!”— Monica D.

“It doesn’t necessarily get easier, you just get stronger and better at managing and coping with what you’re diagnosed with.”— Hollyn D.

“It’s like a dandelion. You pull up the flower, not realizing the roots are deep and have spread far. You survive, but the call of the void never quite goes away. But you learn to not answer it.”— Amanda L.

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, help is out there. Reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. If someone is at immediate risk of self-harm, call 911 or your local emergency number and stay with them until help arrives.

Responses have been edited for length and clarity.

It’s hard to know what to say when someone dies. When it’s by suicide, it can be even harder to know what to say. Even if you are feeling unsure, it is better to speak to someone than avoid them.

What to say

• How are you feeling today?

• I don’t know what to say…

• This must be so hard for you…

• I can’t imagine what you are going through, but I wanted to let you know that I’m here if you’d like to talk. I’m not sure what to say, but I’m here to listen

• Recall a positive memory about the person who died

• Is there anything I can do to help you?

• I miss (name of the person who died)… how are you?

• Can I take you anywhere that would help? (doctors, shopping, appointments etc)

• Would you like to go for a walk together?

What not to say

• Avoid using clichés such as “They are in a better place” “Time heals everything” “they are at peace now”

• Avoid using phrases such as “It was God’s will” “Life goes on”

• I know how you feel…

• Avoid talking a lot about your own experiences, especially if they are not suicide bereavement

• Avoid asking for details about the death itself, such as how the person died

• Phrases that could be seen as judgmental, such as “they were selfish to do that” “they took an easy way out.”

Supportaftersuicide.org.uk

Beyond Surving: Suggestions for Survivors

Beyond Surviving: Suggestions for Survivors

Iris M. Bolton

1.Know you can survive; you may not think so, but you can.

2.Struggle with “why” it happened until you no longer need to know “why” or until YOU are satisfied with partial answers.

3.Know you may feel overwhelmed by the intensity of your feelings but that all your feelings are normal.

4.Anger, guilt, confusion, forgetfulness are common responses. You are not crazy, you are in mourning.

5.Be aware you may feel appropriate anger at the person, at the world, at God, at yourself. It’s okay to express it.

6.You may feel guilty for what you think you did or did not do. Guilt can turn into regret, through forgiveness.

7.Having suicidal thoughts is common. It does not mean that you will act on those thoughts.

8.Remember to take one moment or one day at a time.

9.Find a good listener with whom to share. Call someone if you need to talk.

10.Don’t be afraid to cry. Tears are healing.

11.Give yourself time to heal.

12.Remember, the choice was not yours. No one is the sole influence on another’s life.

13.Expect setbacks. If emotions return like a tidal wave, you may only be experiencing a remnant of grief, an unfinished piece.

14.Try to put off major decisions.

15.Give yourself permission to get professional help.

16.Be aware of the pain in your family and friends.

17.Be patient with yourself and others who may not understand.

18.Set your own limits and learn to say no.

19.Steer clear of people who want to tell you what or how to feel.

20.Know that there are support groups that can be helpful, such as Compassionate Friends or Survivors of Suicide groups. If not, ask a professional to start one.

21.Call on your personal faith to help you through.

22.It is common to experience physical reaction to your grief, e.g. headaches, loss of appetite, inability to sleep.

23.The willingness to laugh with other and at yourself is healing.

24.Wear out your questions, anger, guilt, or other feelings until you can let them go. Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting.

25.Know that you will never be the same again, but you can survive and even go beyond just surviving.

Reprinted with permission from Suicide and its Aftermath (Dunne, McIntosh, Dunne-Maxim, Norton et al., 1987

Suicide Awareness

5 Practical Ways to Reach out to a Friend Who Is Feeling Suicidal.

1. Call your friend and tell them what they mean to you, or just be there to listen.
2. Send a text. Humor is a great way to lift someone spirits. Send your friend something funny in the form of funny memes, jokes or videos.
3. Visit them in person. Help them clean or perhaps bring take out for an evening of “Netflix and chill”.
4. Invite them to dinner, movie, shopping, an art exhibit, the zoo, church, yoga… you get the point.
5. Physical attention. As long as they’re okay with it, hugs, hand-holding and other forms of nonsexual physical attention are great for persons spirit.

asfp.org

National Suicide Prevention Week is September 6 -12. Our theme for this year is the very simple but important message: Keep Going.

In the era of Covid-19, as we all try to protect our mental health and cope with uncertainty, it’s more important than ever that we be there for each other and take steps to prevent suicide. You don’t have to be a mental health professional to make a difference. There are simple things we can all do to safeguard our mental health, and you don’t have to do it alone.

From learning the warning signs for suicide and what to do if you are worried someone is struggling, to advocating for smart suicide prevention legislation, to having a #RealConvo about mental health, to bringing education programs to your community, we can all learn new ways to help each other save lives. Together, we #KeepGoing.